I am a librarian on a mission.

So after I'd waded around in my self-imposed depression for about a month, I came across a book called Not Just a Pretty Face: The Ugly Side of the Beauty Industry by Stacy Malkan. This book was just as jarring as the previous one I'd read, but the difference was that it gave me an idea of what to do about it.

Here is the book description I swiped off Amazon:

Lead in lipstick? 1,4 dioxane in baby soap? Coal tar in shampoo? How is this possible? Simple. The $35 billion cosmetics industry is so powerful they’ve kept themselves unregulated for decades. Not Just a Pretty Face chronicles the quest that led a group of health and environmental activists to the world’s largest cosmetics companies to ask some tough questions:

• Why do companies market themselves as pink ribbon leaders in the fight against breast cancer, yet use hormone-disrupting and carcinogenic chemicals that may contribute to that very disease?
• Why do products used by men and women of childbearing age contain chemicals linked to birth defects and infertility?

As doors slammed in their faces and the beauty myth peeled away, the industry’s toxic secrets began to emerge. This scathing investigation peels away less-than-lovely layers to expose an industry in dire need of an extreme makeover. The good news is that while the major multinational companies fight for their right to use hazardous chemicals, entrepreneurs are developing safer non-toxic technologies and building businesses on the values of health, justice and personal empowerment.

 As I learned about the carcinogenic and toxic chemicals in everyday products I was slathering all over my scalp, skin and face every day, I was absolutely stunned. And remember ladies, "cosmetics" are not just limited to lipstick and mascara. Think deoderant, hand lotion, toothpaste, baby shampoo.  These are chemicals that are directly linked to cancer, ADHD, autism and a number of other disorders and birth defects. And yet there they are, right in my facial moisturizer.

WHY HADN'T ANYONE TOLD ME THAT???? Why hadn't anyone told me that the "extra-sensitive" baby lotion that I had been rubbing all over my 8 month old baby every night, almost since the day she was born was filled with endocrine disruptors that would act as synthetic estrogen in her blood stream, significantly increasing her chances for cancer 20 or 25 years down the road? Why hadn't anyone told me that most of the major sunscreens contain ingredients that increase the risk of and/or speed the development of cancer? (Click here for more info about that little tidbit.) And here I thought I was being a good little mom by gooping both my kids up with that stuff every time they went out in the sun. Why was the FDA allowing that stuff to be sold in the stores? What happened to the public's right to know? What federal agency was supposed to be protecting us from this kind of thing? Why weren't the products sporting labels letting people know that some of the ingredients used were carcinogenic?

I should mention here that I was seriously tempted to type this all up in all caps, because just writing this, I'm getting all worked up over it again. But I thought that would be a bit much. Just know that I am pretty stinking mad and am screaming at the top of my lungs in my head.

Well, shortly after finishing that book, I got online and started working my way through the Environmental Working Group's Skin Deep Cosmetics Database. Just as an FYI, should you choose to actually continue reading this blog, you will hear a lot about the Environmental Working Group. Their site is http://www.ewg.org/ They are simply amazing. Anyway, EWG developed a database where they did independent testing of cosmetics products. They list all the individual ingredients, along with the various diseases/disorders each ingredient may be linked to. Then, they rate the product on a scale of 0 to 10. Zero being a safe, natural score and 10 being toxic/carcinogenic.

I was horrified to see how many of my products were in the 8-10 range. So, I started cleaning house. I dumped out lotions, and lip balms, and mascara. I tossed toothpaste, suncreen, foundation, diaper cream, baby lotion, and baby shampoo. Then I slowly started replenishing with things that I was more certain wouldn't make my family, and especially my children, sick in the future.

I hope you'll read the book. There is a lot that society as a whole needs to understand about the cosmetics industry in the United States. Like, for example, that it is one of the least regulated industries in the country. That means that there is no federal agency standing over their shoulder making sure they conform to some list of preestablished safety guidelines. They are self regulated. This basically means they can put whatever they want into your favorite lotion or lipstick and they don't answer to anyone for it. The European Union has banned approximately 1300 ingredients from all cosmetics. The United States has banned a fraction of that. You see, Europe has a very different approach with the various chemical industries. They say that chemicals may only be used after they are proven safe. Makes sense, right? But the American government takes a slightly different approach. They say that various industries may use whatever chemicals they wish in their products until they are proven unsafe." It's basically this "show me the bodies" mentality that has me completely baffled. Our government won't ban a chemical until it has been proven that people are getting sick or dying because of exposure to it. Nice.

There is one chapter in the book on green chemistry. It's not something I was familiar with. It was fascinating. It talked about a small, but growing movement of green chemists that are trying to develop substances and products that are needed by our society by mimicing nature. For example, when cabinets are made, it is necessary to use a very strong adhesive. The glue is toxic. So some green chemists looked to nature to find a safer alternative. Have you ever seen mussells cling to a rock? You can't pry them off. They looked at the chemical makeup of the substance that the mussells produce to adhere to the rock and replicated it creating a perfectly natural, non-toxic alternative to the glue that was making people sick.

I have a friend with a son that is currently getting his degree in chemistry. I sent him an email and asked him to read that one chapter in the book. As a future chemist, I was interested in his opinion. I guess I was hoping that he would be someone that wanted to make a difference. Someone that would see the importance of looking beyond the blather that he was being fed by the very industries that were doing us so much damage. I was looking for a champion of sorts. I was really surprised by his response. I don't have the email anymore, so I'm defintely going to have to paraphrase, but he said something like this:

As a chemist, I don't think I will be that concerned about developing better lipstick and mascara for a bunch of anorexic supermodels. It is true that some ingredients in cosmetics have carcinogenic properties, but they are really in such tiny amounts, that there is no danger in it. And the whole idea of green chemistry, though an interesting one, is not all that realistic. It is just way too expensive.

I think I read the email two or three times before I let out a modest string of obsenities and deleted the email. Though, I can tell you that I fumed over it for days, if not weeks. I never wrote him back. I adore his family and didn't want to hurt feelings, but I must have written my response at least 50 times in my head. This is what it said: (I'm sorry, but the all caps is a must for this one.)

DAVID!!!!! (Names have been changed to protect the guilty)
THAT HAD TO BE THE MOST IGNORANT AND ARROGANT THING I HAVE EVER HEARD! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF! I FEEL IT NECESSARY TO REMIND YOU THAT THE COSMETICS INDUSTRY PRODUCES PRODUCTS THAT ARE USED BY A MUCH WIDER AUDIENCE THAN THE ANOREXIC SUPERMODEL! HOW ABOUT THAT TOOTHPASTE THAT YOU USED THIS MORNING? OR THE DIAPER CREAM THAT YOUR MOTHER USES ON YOUR BABY SISTER? OR THE SHAMPOO AND DEODERANT THAT YOUR SIBLINGS USE EVERY SINGLE DAY?? AND AS TO YOUR ARGUEMENT THAT THE CARCINOGENIC PROPERTIES ARE AT SUCH LOW LEVELS AS NOT TO DO ANY HARM, ARE YOU AWARE THAT YOU ARE SPOUTING OFF THE VERY SAME BLATHER THAT THE CHEMICAL INDUSTRIES USE? CANCER STARTS WITH ONE CELL, DAVID. ONE CELL THAT MUTATES. ARE THE LEVELS SO LOW THAT IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR THEM TO CHANGE ONE CELL?  DO YOU KNOW THAT FOR SURE? DOES ANYONE? ARE THE LIVES OF THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE WORTH THE GAMBLE? BESIDES, WHEN YOU ADD UP ALL THOSE "TINY AMOUNTS" IN TOOTHPASTE, SHAMPOO, CONDITIONER, PERFUME, HAIR GEL BODY LOTION, FACIAL MOISTURIZER, LIPSTICK, AFTERSHAVE, ETC. IT'S NOT SUCH A TINY AMOUNT ANYMORE, IS IT?!? I AM PAYING $20+ DOLLARS A BOTTLE FOR SHAMPOO TO USE ON MY CHILDREN, AND WOULD PAY TEN TIMES THAT AMOUNT BECAUSE I AM NOT WILLING TO TAKE THE RISK. IF OTHERS KNEW WHAT I KNOW, THEY WOULD TOO SO DON'T GIVE ME THAT CRAP ABOUT GREEN CHEMISTRY NOT BEING COST EFFECTIVE BECAUSE IT WOULD BE TOO EXPENSIVE!!!

Hope all is going well at school and the family is healthy and happy.
Love,
Marie

Whew! That felt really good. So, you can probably see why I never actually sent the email. In all fairness, I should have had him just read the whole book. Just reading the one chapter out of context probably did not give him enough information to form a sensible, non-irritating opinion.

So, to sum up. This was really the turning point in my journey. This was when I decided there was something I could do to protect myself, my family, and other people that I loved. (Assuming I could explain it to them without them thinking I had turned into a paranoid, hippie, cancer survivor.) I was determined to find a way to make a difference. I was a was a librarian on a mission.