Monday, November 28, 2011

Two days and counting...

Two days to surgery. I'm glad to finally be there. It won't happen exactly as I had planned, but this situation is a close second and I just want to get it done.

My surgery is on Wednesday, all day (12 hour surgery) at the Intermountain Medical Center in Murray, Utah. Their general number is 801.507.7000. I should be on the patient directory if anyone wants to check in. Or you can just call Neil's cell. That would probaby be better actually. I don't plan on being conscious for most of my stay there. (Finally, a decent nap!) I'll check in early Wednesday morning and probably be home by Saturday afternoon sometime.  Woohoo!

Sunday, November 6, 2011

It can only get better from here.

I went and saw my new surgeon on Friday. Her name is June Chen. She is really nice. It almost seemed like a formality. I've spent so much time in the last year reading about the procedure and talking with other doctors and cancer patients that I really didn't have any questions for her. I'm sure I just gave her the impression that I was more than just a little clueless, because after a while she looked at me and said, "Do you need some time to think all this over." I think she was a little surprised when I immediately answered back.  "No. I want this done by the end of the year. In fact, your assistant already has me pencilled in for a surgery date of November 30th."

At some point during the consultation she asked me why I wasn't going to stick with the surgeons at the Huntsman Cancer Hospital where I've received all my other treatment. I just said, "Because I've heard very good things about you." I have. When I started looking into surgeons, I came up with a list of top three. Massey was number one, she was number two, and I still have one backup. Though I'm really hoping I don't have to go there. I'm so tired of all this.

I did reach a new low that day though. I thought I lost all sense of dignity that day of my first breast MRI when I walked into the room and saw three big guys waiting for me. Well, when you compare that with standing in a small room in front of a total stranger with no clothes on, in my post-chemo, post-steroids, post-second worst year of my life body, while she snaps about 30 pictures with her digital camera... Well, let's just say, it wasn't the most ego boosting moment of my life.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Change of plans. Again.

Since last February I've been planning on having my surgery done by Dr. Marga Massey. She works out of the St. Charles Surgical Center in New Orleans. It has the only clinic in the world dedicated entirely to breast reconstruction. She and her colleagues are, I believe, the very best in the country at what they do. (Not to mention that I think she is an amazingly kind and compassionate individual. I absolutely adore her.) I would have flown out next week, on the 8th, had my surgery on the 10th, stayed in the hospital for 4 nights and flew home on the 18th. Everything was arranged. Then I guess things were just a little too organized and that I needed a little more anxiety and stress in my life so I decided to change everything.

I think it was just a little more than I could handle right now. I wasn't nervous about the surgery. That little, dark broom closet in the back of my head has worked beautifully once again and I haven't had a  moment's anxiety about the surgery itself. My anxiety was stemmed from all the arrangements that had to be made in order for me and my husband to take off and leave my children for 10 days. I probably could have managed it if it weren't for the fact that we haven't been able to keep them both well for more than 3 days in a row, and the recent death of our furnace, necesitating a complete reconstruction of the ducts in our home and installation of new furnace and water heater just seemed to push my nerves over the edge. As soon as I decided to cancel everything and find a surgeon locally, I felt much less anxious about life. My new surgeon will probably not have 20 years of experience in microsurgical breast reconstruction and she is probably not as insanely obsessed with building the absolute perfect breast, but when it all comes right down to it, I think I'm okay with just a little less than perfection if it means keeping my sanity intact.

Neil wasn't too thrilled about my deciding to throw a big ole' wrench into everything. He wanted me to see the best. When he was sick, I made him fly out to New York so he could be cared for the best surgeons in the world for his condition. He wanted to do the same for me, I think. I tried to point out that I didn't think you could fairly compare brain surgery with a boob job (an extremely complicated boob job, but a boob job nonetheless), but he didn't really go for it.

So that's the latest. My tentative surgery date is now November 30th. I'll be sure to keep everyone posted on what I hope is the last phase of my little adventure with breast cancer.