When I spoke with my oncologist right before my first infusion of Taxol last Friday she said, "This is the easier drug for most people. You might experience a little body ache." Then she asked me what kind of painkillers I had already at home. I told her I had 800 mg Ibuprofen capsules, and then, joking, I added that I had a few Percocet tablets left over from my last c-section. She just looked at me and said, "Okay, start with the Ibuprofen and then use the Percocet." I just stared at her, but I was thinking, "I'm going to need Percocet?!? That's what they give me when they have cut me open and yanked a watermelon out of my gut!" At that point I should have asked her exactly what she meant by "a little body ache," but I didn't. But that's okay, because about two days after infusion, I figured out exactly what she meant. What she actually meant was "you will feel like you have just been hit by a truck," and I did.
My Taxol infusion ended about 5 pm on Friday the 7th. I felt fine all day Saturday but woke up at about 2 am Sunday morning and my whole body was aching. I couldn't get back to sleep so I got up and took my Ibuprofen. It didn't even touch it. By Sunday afternoon I was sure that I was dying. It's not something I can explain. It wasn't just bone ache or just muscle ache. It was everything. My toes hurt, my legs hurt, my FINGERNAILS hurt. I laid there on my bed most of the day in the fetal position, whining in a way that could put even my 5 year old to shame. Finally gave in and went for the good stuff. I love Percocet. I slept like the dead that night and even got up to go to work, but the drugs wore off about 1 pm and I hit the wall. Went home. From then on it's been just Percocet. Wednesday was pretty bad. I woke up only semi-conscious. My fatigue levels were off the chart, but I honestly couldn't tell you if it was exhaustion due to the chemo, a Dermatomyositis flare, or if I was just hung over from all the lovely painkilling, sleepsaving Percocet I'd ingested the night before. Regardless of what was causing it, I had things going on at work that day so staying home wasn't an option so I dragged my butt out of bed, somehow managed to get the two kids dressed and off to the babysitter and school and went to work. I just kept hoping that no one would notice the way I kept staggering up and down the halls. I really must have looked like I was wasted.
Today is Friday and I felt fine most of the day. Well, I guess I know what to expect from this drug for the last three infusions. Pain. Or a drug-induced oblivion. (Which do you think I'll choose?) So, if you happen to see me within the first 6 days or so of infusion, just know that I am not intoxicated and I'm not on drugs. At least not the illegal ones. I have, however, just been hit by a truck.
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